Wow.  I just read my last post.  I was in a bad space the night I wrote that.  Really bad space.  But you know what?  I snapped out of it, pretty quickly.  The professional situation?  Out of my hands.  All I can do is continue to apply to places and hope for the best.  I will not stop.  The personal situation?  Yeah.  This one is a bigger douchebag than probably ANYONE I have ever met.  EVER.  But that’s okay.  Karma is a vicious and ugly thing, and you know what sweetcakes?  You will get yours, and it will come back to you times 3.  I hope you are prepared for it, because it’s gonna be ugly and you will deserve every ounce of sadness, sickness and misery that you get.  My only regret is that I will not be there to watch it all go down.

Phew.  I feel SOOOO much better now.

My hooker friend Mary is, as we speak, on a plane to come to Hell.  She is a former collegue of mine (that’s how we met) and we became good friends.  We are having a big conference here in Hell for us and our suppliers and she is coming to town for that.  SO excited.  I’ll get to see her in a few hours.

Then, on Wednesday, my traveling self (always going somewhere aren’t I???) will be headed on a jetplane to NYC to see my HSBFF for 5 fantastic, funfilled days.  We will see Kill Hannah, U2/Muse, Kill Hannah again in upstate New York, then do stuffs in Manhattan on Saturday before I have to come home (sadface) on Sunday.  I love NYC so much.  And I love my HSBFF so much.  And I love Muse so much.  This will be a five day love fest.  Looking forward to it.  I need it.

THEN, the weekend of October 9, I have another quick little ninja trip.  I found a fare to Dallas (where I have friends), roundtrip for $95.  Couldn’t turn it down!!  Just a quickie weekender.  Although I am going to try to get down to Houston to see Andi, or see if she wants to come up to Dallas to hang.

So, as you can see….I’m doing fine.  Better than fine.  I’M FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC.

I had a good, albeit lazy holiday weekend.  I left work early on Friday and went to a late lunch with my coworker Beth.  It was so nice to be able to sit and relax and not clock watch at lunch.  She’s 20 and with a boy she shouldn’t be.  She comes in every other day and comes to whine about how they got in a giant fight the night before and that she should just break up with him.  Uh, yeah, well then do it!  But then he does something all sweet and she forgives him.  Ugh.  Oh well.  All I can do is be supportive.  I do keep telling her that he’s not worth it since he causes her SO much grief, but eh, I was 20 years old once and I remember what it was like.

After lunch I picked up my Monkey from my mom’s house and we headed home to my house.  Picked up dinner on the way home and just hung out here and relaxed.

Saturday we watched I Love You, Man.  I didn’t like it.  At all.  But, maybe that’s because my expectations were so high.  I love Jason Segall and Paul Rudd so much.  But this one just fell flat.  Whatevs.  Then, we took off to go see the movie Gamer (which I loved, lots of UBER violence, buckets of blood and gore, and a very dirty, sweaty, sexy Gerard Butler – yummm) and then off to Best Buy.  You can see the post below about that.  What I didn’t explain below is that my phone STILL wasn’t working properly hours after I got home.  I could call and text (hmmmm, I used it to order Chinese food for dinner Saturday night) but I could not seem to access the internet or any of the other net related applications.

I got up Sunday, still couldn’t make it talk to the network, so I headed to the Sprint store.  I had purchased the phone at Best Buy and they were supposed to activate it, and it appeared they did, but apparently not.  Turns out that the twat at Best Buy had not actually converted my plan to the Everything plan that includes the required data package for the Blackberry.  So, he did it for me.  He figured that doing that would fix it, and told me it could take up to 4 hours to fully propagate through the system.  I went off on my merry way, stopping at the pet store for a new toy for Satan, then at the grocery store for a few things.

I woke up today, and my phone STILL would not connect.  Boooo.  We watched Coraline this morning, laid around all lazy like and finally at about 3 I made the Monkey go get cleaned up and packed to go back to my moms (boooo).  We took off and I headed BACK over to the Sprint store.  The (very cute) boy working there told me that if the phone didn’t fix itself Sunday night to come back and he’d work on it some more.  I was in that damn Sprint store for an hour and a half.  BUT HE FIXED IT.  He had to completely wipe everything off and reload all the software from scratch and then activate it – properly.  That twat at Best Buy had completely hosed up the activation process, in addition to not moving me to the correct plan.  He even kind of chastised me for going to Best Buy for the phone (even though I did get it for nearly half the price I would have paid at the Sprint store), and asked me “So, when you need another new phone, are you going to go back to Best Buy?”  LOL  He’s lucky he was cute, and fixed my phone, or I might have kicked him.

So, now I really, REALLY want to marry this phone and have little Blackberries with it.  SO. MADE. OF. WIN.

Then the Monkey and I went off and, grabbed some dinner, and I dropped him off at my mom’s.  Sad. 

But, it was a good weekend over all.

The stupid, ass hole, dick head, COCK LICKING son of a bitch IPC scored a minor victory.  Because he was so 3 year old immature and ridiculous, he could not get over my getting him in trouble last year for behaving inappropriately and being a dick at work.  Oh no.

He filed an ethics complaint about me being on the interwebz while at work.  And despite the fact that if you pull my logs (and they did!), they are almost always during my lunch (which is not against the rules), I was still furloughed for 3 days without pay.

SCORE ONE :  IPC

I’ll give him that one.  But one point does not make the match.  And the match belongs to me.  Do not doubt that.

**warning:  profanity laden rant ahead.  you have been warned**

How was your holiday weekend (if you live in the US that is)?  Mine was just kind of meh.  It’s always nice to have 3 days off work, and I did have one whole blissful night to myself completely.  But before that could happen I was called “the worst mother EVER” by my ex-husband.  The paragon of good parenting.  He conveniently forgets those 10 years he chose not to be in their lives because his piece of ass didn’t like them (and what kind of parent chooses convenient sex over their CHILDREN – but I digress).

Saturday morning I got up and took the kids to breakfast then to Wal-Mart.  Both needed new bathing suits, and they are hard on them so I go cheap.  I will end up buying at least 3 more before the end of summer for both of them, so I’m not down to drop a lot of cash on the suits.  ANYWAY.  At about 11am, the Monkey jumped into his shorts and hauled ass across the street because the pool was FINALLY OPEN.  I swear, I was going to go open the damn thing myself if they didn’t because that is all this boy has talked about for a month solid.  I threw a towel at him and told him to have fun.

The ex showed up (and HOUR early I might add) to pick them up for his overnight visit (honestly, I’d let them go more often and for a longer period, but he just can’t be bothered to be with them for much more than 12 hours in a row) so I told him to walk across the street and go get the Monkey.  He fussed at me – why wasn’t he ready to go?  OMG.  Douche.  “You are an hour early you ass hole” was my verbatim response.  He stomped out of my house to get the Monkey and was back a few minutes later with him.  He got dressed and they took off (oh, also because he was an hour early, the Terrorist was still at her friends house – he was quite put out that he had to go get her too).

3 hours later I get a phone call from him just BERATING me for my poor parenting skills because my son got sunburned.

Oooops.  Shit.  I sent him to the pool with a towel and totally forgot the sunblock.  Damn.  My bad.  But does that make me the worst mother ever?  No, I think not.

I told him to have the Monkey take as hot a bath as he could stand (it seems weird, but it helps pull the sting out of the skin from a sunburn – HOT not cold) and put some aloe on him.  He threatened to bring him home because he didn’t think he should have to “deal” with it.

Wait.  What?  It’s a fucking sunburn.  I didn’t let him play with a table saw unattended and cut his arm off for fuck’s sake.  It was also the first time in a LONG while that I’ve been totally alone in my house and there was no way he was bringing him back because of a fucking sunburn.

I got on the phone with the Monkey and he said it stung a little but wasn’t too bad.  Bearable in other words.  Yeah, I should have slathered him down with sunblock and made him take the bottle with him to the pool but I didn’t and all it cost him was a sunburn.  And his father was fah-reaking out about it.

You know what I think it is?  I think he has all this long festering, ugly guilt about abandoning the kids and letting their step father raise them from babies – choosing to not be part of their lives and now that he’s moved here where I live he’s trying to make up for 10 years of not being there by being “uber dad”.

WTFever.  I’m over it.  Stupid ass hole.  I wonder when he is going to learn that I will ALWAYS win when it comes to matters with MY children.  And yes, I think of them as MY children not OUR children.  He is not much more than a sperm donor in my books now.

I work in a cube farm.  You know, just another anonymous looking room filled with anonymous looking cubicles.  Like this:

(except we aren’t little Lego people – but this is actually a very fair representation of what our jail cells look like)

There are rows and rows of these cubicles.  Rows that are typically wide enough for people to walk through, and even pass each other without too much trouble.  But for the past week or so, this woman who sits a row over  from me has been loitering in my row (probably because there are a bunch of cute software engineers that sit right behind me).  She sees me coming up the row and rather than move to the side to allow me to pass like NORMAL people do, she obstinately stands in the way.  There are even times when she will actually move to be more in the middle of the row so I can’t get through.  It makes me have to stop and politely say “excuse me” to get by.  When I do that she just huffs and rolls her eyes at me like it is the biggest inconvenience to take a full step to the left to make way for me to pass by.  I don’t get it.  I’ve never done anything to her.  I don’t even know her.

OH!  A TCO update!!!  They moved that crazy bitch out of our area.  **does happy dance** They sat her all by herself bascially in an area 2 wings away from where we all sit now.  It has been so peaceful and quiet in here since they moved her.  It’s been HEAVENLY.  Now, to work on the IPC.  He’s next.

Oh, the IPC?  Thinks we are friendly again since I HAD to talk to him about something other day at work.  He’s been joking with me, talking to me.  YUCK.  No IPC, we are NOT friends.  Not now, not ever.  Stupid shithead.

Okay, I can no longer even be polite to TCO. Today, Donna couldn’t take the loud talking on the phone any more and said something to her.  That started a shit storm like you cannot believe.  She immediately turned around and snarled at Donna that SHE can’t hear anything because of all of us talking and then specifically called me out.  She said that Donna and I talking through the cubicle wall all the time was bothersome.  Well, we don’t actually TALK through the cubicle walls, because we are usually talking about HER.  So we do it on IM.

Never mind the fact that she screams in the shrill nasty voice when on the phone (which is so fucking fake it makes me wanna puke).  Never mind the fact that even though I sit 3 full cubicles away from her, I’ve had people on the phone with me that will stop and go “what is THAT??!!??” when she’s talking.  Oh no, Donna and I occasionally whispering through the cubicle wall is too much.

Take fucking responsibility for your behaviors you STUPID, LOUD COW!  After she tried to turn it all around on Donna, she came and got me because she was pissed and needed to blow off steam.  We walked outside for a bit (it’s like 75 degrees here today – LOVELY), then came back in.  By that time Donna was so mad, she went to go find the boss.  God we are all so sick of her behavior.  Because I can’t help myself, I did a drive by on her desk while Donna hunted for the boss.  As I fully expected TCO was sitting at her desk in tears.  BAWLING.  She is always such a victim.  Gah, I could SO not be like that.

I stopped at another co-workers desk (that happens to be right next to TCO’s) and was talking to her, very quietly I might add, about her husband who had a heart attack last week.  Then, another lady came by the desk and stopped to talk to us for a minute or two tops.  While she was there TCO got up from her desk threw her pens/pencils down and stomped away from her desk.  She went the long way, but when she came back she was crying even MORE (I didn’t think it was possible), so we figured she had been to the bosses desk.

Shortly after THAT, Donna came by, PISSSSSED OFF!  TCO got to the boss before she could and basically told him we were all picking on her and that we had no right to do that since there was so much “visiting” going on.  So, figuring that she was going to be in some kind of trouble, she decided to go fabricate something to get Donna and I in trouble first.

What she doesn’t realize is that it isn’t just Donna and I that are fed up with her loud behavior.  It is EVERYONE in our wing of the building.  That is like 30 people.

Oh well, I didn’t really care for her and her whining and sniveling and tattling, so I’ll just not deal with it at all any more.  Silly me, I didn’t realize that we were running a fucking daycare for 8 year olds here.  Glad to have that heads up now.

I just haven’t been in the posting groove or mood.  There is something that someone is doing that is  bothering me, a lot actually, but it’s something that I know is probably not worth the time to talk to him about it.  So I won’t.  And if you are wondering if this is about you?  Probably.

Oh, some good news!  Our cruise is booked!  Miss Monique and I are booked and paid for in a cabin on the Enchantment of the Seas.  “Can’t. Wait.” doesn’t even begin to describe it.  We leave on Saturday May 2 and return on Thursday May 7.  I’m pretty sure we are going to just spend the night in FL that night, either Ft. Lauderdale or Miami so we aren’t hurried to get off the boat and catch a flight home.  Oh, and to extend our vacation by a day.  Whatever.  We plan on being so fabulous on this trip that we will just be exhausted by it all at the end, so a day to lay low in Florida before flying home sounds like a good idea.

Other than that, things are just about the same.  Work blows and my boss is a passive aggressive non-feeling butt wipe. I was siiiiick yesterday with the stomach crap that my son had last week, and when I called into work to tell him I wasn’t coming in, his exact response was “Well, what about XXXXX?”  Well, fuck you very much sir, I’m too busy shitting and puking my brains out to be concerned with that today.  Fucking dickhead.  Uptight, micromanaging, douchey dickhead to be exact.  TCO had a melt down at him yesterday (and I missed it dammit) and bolted out of here at 1:30pm pissed off and hasn’t come back.  I’m still trying to get the details on that.

So, I guess you’ve got to take the good with the bad.  Good = cruise with Miss Monique!  (squee)  Bad = everything else.

Honestly, all I wanted to do today was go have a bite of lunch with my son and then go to grocery store. That’s it! I had no idea that things would end up so strange.

We took off at 11:00 and went to the Applebee’s in front of the Walmart I grocery shop at. The Monkey likes their hamburgers, so he always wants to go there. Whatever. I like their queso and chips and fried chicken salad. ANYWAY, we got there, got sat and ordered. We were talking and having a nice conversation when they sat a husband and wife and 2 kids in the booth behind us.

It started almost immediately from him.

“Sit down and shut up.”
“You will NOT order that.”
“If you don’t behave you get it when we get home.”
“Don’t make me hit you in public.”

Ugh. It was directed at the kids and the wife. They sat on the opposite side of the booth from him, cowering while he sat completely by himself on his side. What a sad situation. We finished lunch and headed to Wal-Mart for grocery shopping.

The closest Wal-Mart to me is in a very redneck-y kind of area. And of course we’re there at noon on a Saturday which is probably the worst possible time EVER to be at any Wal-Mart. We got in there, did our shopping I managed to not kill anyone while in there and we got in line. I looked up at the people in front of me and I am here to tell you, there was an ape standing in front of me. Not like a big ooofy looking man, I mean, this man actually resembled an ape. Despite the pleas I received on Twitter, I was NOT able to get a picture of him.

After getting over my fit over the Apeman in front of me, I began unloading my groceries onto the cart (does anyone else remember when you pushed the cart right up to the register and the cashier unloaded it as it was rung up?). I got to the sodas on the underneath of the cart and noticed a brown puddle under our cart and a drip coming from my 12 pack of root beer. Damn.

I said something to the UNfriendliest cashier ever about the mess because I certainly didn’t want someone to trip and fall. Then I sent the Monkey back to go grab another one. He finally came back and let me know that he had no trouble finding where it was because he just followed the root beer drops all the way back to the soda aisle. Double damn.

We finished checking out, and headed out to the car. Now, it’s the super busy time at this hell hole and we had a really good spot. So, as we were loading the groceries into the trunk, this horrible woman in a shitty white mini van loaded to the brim with kids from like 16 years old down to kids in car seats pulls up to wait for my spot. She impatiently waited for me and when I was apparently going to slow for her she HONKED. AT. ME. and then gave me the “hurry up” sign with her hands.

Oh. No. She. Di’in’t.

Well, that? That just makes me go slower. So the Monkey and I were going slow, talking, etc, which was of course driving this woman batshit. She finally got frustrated and began to drive away. The Monkey and I began laughing at her, so she STOPPED. Her teenage daughter hung her head out the window and said (in her best Midwest white trash drawl) “DID YOU JUST LAUGH AT US?”.

I smiled sweetly and waved and said, “Yep!!”.

That crazy fucking woman GOT OUT OF HER CAR and walked over to me asking me what my problem was. I told her I didn’t appreciate her honking at me while I was loading my groceries. She threatened to “kick my ass”. My reaction to that was to just laugh in her stupid, fat, bloated face. Just about that time, the person who was now stuck behind her car because she was out arguing with me started honking at HER and she turned and screamed at him.

I said (again, as sweetly as I could), “See? It’s annoying isn’t it? Now, go waddle yourself back to your car. You are setting a fantastic example for your children by behaving so marvelously white trash.”

Then I got in my car and pulled out of my spot. The spot she wanted so badly and was now missing out on because of her stupidity. She ended up having to park nearly at the end of the parking lot. Which cracked me and the Monkey up like you cannot believe.

And I all I wanted was groceries.